Fic: A Spicy Life
Sep. 14th, 2013 01:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
alisanneTitle: A Spicy Life
Author:alisanne
Rating: PG
Pairing: Severus Snape/Harry Potter, Lucius Malfoy.
Word Count: 780
Genre: Humor
Warnings: None
A/N: Written formajmunka as part of my 8th LJ-Versary celebration. She requested Snarry, prompt: sandwich. I'm not sure this was exactly what you wanted, hon, but I just couldn't resist. *g*
Betas:sevfan and emynn
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.
~
A Spicy Life
~
“Oh, come now, Severus,” Lucius said, his tone sly. “I’m one of your closest friends. Surely you know you can trust me? I’m only telling you this for your own good.”
“Indeed.” Severus’ tone was dry. “Nevertheless, I’m afraid you shall have to get your prurient interests satisfied elsewhere.” He smirked. “Perhaps if you paid as much attention to your wife as you are to my relationship with Harry, you wouldn’t need as much spice in your love life--”
Lucius blinked. “Why, Severus.” His tone was wounded. “Surely you don’t think I’m making these suggestions for my own benefit? Or dear me, no. I simply want to be sure you’re not falling prey to the oh-so-common May-December syndrome. Ennui can set in rather quickly when there’s a large age disparity between partners, you know.”
Severus raised an eyebrow. “Your...concerns are noted. You may also be sure they are unfounded. Now, if you’ll excuse me?”
Lucius mumbled something but Severus had spun on his heel and walked away rapidly without hearing it. Loosening his wand from its holster, he murmured a spell he hadn’t used in decades before marching up to Harry, who was chatting with some of his colleagues from the Ministry. Severus cleared his throat.
Harry turned, smiling as he saw him. “Severus, there you are. Join us. Miller here was just talking about some research he’s been doing into Veritaserum.”
Reaching for Severus, Harry linked their fingers, pulling him into the group. At his touch, Severus relaxed, even managing a civil tone. “Ah, yes. I’ve been hearing promising things about that. Something about a nightshade base--?”
That encouragement was all Miller needed and he was off, babbling blissfully about his research. He was so engrossed he never even noticed when Harry gently pulled Severus away from the group. “What’s wrong?” he asked once they were alone by some windows. “Has something happened with Lucius?”
Severus stared at Harry for a long moment. For all Lucius claimed to know him, it took Harry but one look to know when Severus was upset. Severus pursed his lips. “He was inquiring as to our...bedroom preferences.”
Harry blinked. “Something tells me you don’t mean bedroom furniture.”
Severus hummed. “That was mentioned as well, although only in the context of his inquiring as to whether we had manacles and chains on our walls.”
Harry’s mouth fell open. “He asked about our sex life?”
Severus nodded. “Under the guise of wanting to be sure you weren’t ‘wearing me out’ since I’m so much older than you.” Severus snorted. “He even had suggestions about things we could try to keep the ‘spice alive’ in our relationship.”
Harry’s eyes narrowed. “Is that so?”
“Indeed.” Severus smirked. “Apparently he thinks adding a third to our bed would spice things up. I believe he referred to it as a ‘Potter sandwich’.”
“And he would be one of the slices of bread?” Harry blanched. “I need to find Hermione.”
“Why’s that?”
“She’s the only one good enough with Memory Charms to make me forget that I’ve heard that.”
Severus smirked. “I don’t think you need Healer Granger-Weasley’s services right now. Lucius, however, may not be so fortunate.”
Harry started to smile. “What did you d--?”
A high-pitched shriek interrupted him and everyone in the Ministry reception turned towards Lucius, who was flailing about. His face was bright red and he was coughing. “Pepper!” he gasped. “Pepper in the champagne!”
“Dear me,” Severus murmured. “It looks as if Lucius has rather too much spice in his life, doesn’t it? Such a shame.”
Harry bit his lip. “Severus--”
Severus clasped his arm, leading him from the room. “Given the contaminated champagne, perhaps it’s best we leave. Unless you’re anxious to endure yet another Ministry dinner?”
“Definitely not,” Harry said, hurrying away alongside Severus. Once in the exit hallway, he asked, “You didn’t actually contaminate all the champagne, did you?”
“No, just any that passes Lucius’ lips.” Severus drew Harry close as they entered the Floo to go home. “It should last for several hours. Days if he doesn’t have a clever healer familiar with the hex.”
Harry laughed. “I’ll be sure to tell Hermione not to help in his case, then, not that I think she would volunteer.”
Severus chuckled. “Indeed. That hex would hardly prove a mystery for her.” Raising a hand, he cupped Harry’s face. “Did you want to stay for the dinner?” he asked softly. “We can return. I would endure it for your sake.”
Harry grinned, and leaning up, kissed him. “No. I’ll be fine as long as you promise to make me a proper sandwich when we get home.”
~
Author:
alisanneRating: PG
Pairing: Severus Snape/Harry Potter, Lucius Malfoy.
Word Count: 780
Genre: Humor
Warnings: None
A/N: Written for
majmunka as part of my 8th LJ-Versary celebration. She requested Snarry, prompt: sandwich. I'm not sure this was exactly what you wanted, hon, but I just couldn't resist. *g*Betas:
sevfan and emynnDisclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.
~
A Spicy Life
~
“Oh, come now, Severus,” Lucius said, his tone sly. “I’m one of your closest friends. Surely you know you can trust me? I’m only telling you this for your own good.”
“Indeed.” Severus’ tone was dry. “Nevertheless, I’m afraid you shall have to get your prurient interests satisfied elsewhere.” He smirked. “Perhaps if you paid as much attention to your wife as you are to my relationship with Harry, you wouldn’t need as much spice in your love life--”
Lucius blinked. “Why, Severus.” His tone was wounded. “Surely you don’t think I’m making these suggestions for my own benefit? Or dear me, no. I simply want to be sure you’re not falling prey to the oh-so-common May-December syndrome. Ennui can set in rather quickly when there’s a large age disparity between partners, you know.”
Severus raised an eyebrow. “Your...concerns are noted. You may also be sure they are unfounded. Now, if you’ll excuse me?”
Lucius mumbled something but Severus had spun on his heel and walked away rapidly without hearing it. Loosening his wand from its holster, he murmured a spell he hadn’t used in decades before marching up to Harry, who was chatting with some of his colleagues from the Ministry. Severus cleared his throat.
Harry turned, smiling as he saw him. “Severus, there you are. Join us. Miller here was just talking about some research he’s been doing into Veritaserum.”
Reaching for Severus, Harry linked their fingers, pulling him into the group. At his touch, Severus relaxed, even managing a civil tone. “Ah, yes. I’ve been hearing promising things about that. Something about a nightshade base--?”
That encouragement was all Miller needed and he was off, babbling blissfully about his research. He was so engrossed he never even noticed when Harry gently pulled Severus away from the group. “What’s wrong?” he asked once they were alone by some windows. “Has something happened with Lucius?”
Severus stared at Harry for a long moment. For all Lucius claimed to know him, it took Harry but one look to know when Severus was upset. Severus pursed his lips. “He was inquiring as to our...bedroom preferences.”
Harry blinked. “Something tells me you don’t mean bedroom furniture.”
Severus hummed. “That was mentioned as well, although only in the context of his inquiring as to whether we had manacles and chains on our walls.”
Harry’s mouth fell open. “He asked about our sex life?”
Severus nodded. “Under the guise of wanting to be sure you weren’t ‘wearing me out’ since I’m so much older than you.” Severus snorted. “He even had suggestions about things we could try to keep the ‘spice alive’ in our relationship.”
Harry’s eyes narrowed. “Is that so?”
“Indeed.” Severus smirked. “Apparently he thinks adding a third to our bed would spice things up. I believe he referred to it as a ‘Potter sandwich’.”
“And he would be one of the slices of bread?” Harry blanched. “I need to find Hermione.”
“Why’s that?”
“She’s the only one good enough with Memory Charms to make me forget that I’ve heard that.”
Severus smirked. “I don’t think you need Healer Granger-Weasley’s services right now. Lucius, however, may not be so fortunate.”
Harry started to smile. “What did you d--?”
A high-pitched shriek interrupted him and everyone in the Ministry reception turned towards Lucius, who was flailing about. His face was bright red and he was coughing. “Pepper!” he gasped. “Pepper in the champagne!”
“Dear me,” Severus murmured. “It looks as if Lucius has rather too much spice in his life, doesn’t it? Such a shame.”
Harry bit his lip. “Severus--”
Severus clasped his arm, leading him from the room. “Given the contaminated champagne, perhaps it’s best we leave. Unless you’re anxious to endure yet another Ministry dinner?”
“Definitely not,” Harry said, hurrying away alongside Severus. Once in the exit hallway, he asked, “You didn’t actually contaminate all the champagne, did you?”
“No, just any that passes Lucius’ lips.” Severus drew Harry close as they entered the Floo to go home. “It should last for several hours. Days if he doesn’t have a clever healer familiar with the hex.”
Harry laughed. “I’ll be sure to tell Hermione not to help in his case, then, not that I think she would volunteer.”
Severus chuckled. “Indeed. That hex would hardly prove a mystery for her.” Raising a hand, he cupped Harry’s face. “Did you want to stay for the dinner?” he asked softly. “We can return. I would endure it for your sake.”
Harry grinned, and leaning up, kissed him. “No. I’ll be fine as long as you promise to make me a proper sandwich when we get home.”
~
no subject
Date: 2013-09-15 02:36 am (UTC)severus is a sweetheart...sweet on harry and ALL heart where he's concerned. interfering weasels, not so much. ;)
well done!
no subject
Date: 2013-09-18 03:27 am (UTC)*laughs* Yes, Severus is quite sweet on Harry. Good thing, too, since I think Lucius' fate would have been worse had Harry less of an influence on Severus.
Thank you, hon!
no subject
Date: 2013-09-15 06:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-18 03:29 am (UTC)Thanks, hon!
no subject
Date: 2013-09-15 08:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-18 03:31 am (UTC)Thanks so much! :)
no subject
Date: 2013-09-18 07:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-09-22 09:52 pm (UTC)Vengeful Severus *is* fun, you're right. And he'd never direct that towards Harry. *nods*
Thanks so much!