alisanne

Title: Of Cakes and Shrubbery
Author:

alisanne
Rating: PG
Pairing:Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy
Summary: Harry can't seem to escape being groped.
Word Count: 1520
Genre: Humor, romance
Warnings: None
A/N: Written for the past several months worth of

hd_fluff's prompts. #90: Gold, #91: April Showers, #93: Bloom and #93: Photo prompt.
Beta:

sevfan
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

~

Of Cakes and Shrubbery

~

“The yard’s getting a bit overgrown,” said Harry as he walked into the cottage he shared with Draco. He shivered. “In fact, I’m pretty sure that shrub that’s blooming by the front gate tried to molest me.”

Looking up from his book, Draco shrugged. “You should do something about that, then.” He smirked. “You’re the big, bad Auror.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “It’s your turn to handle the garden this month. We divided the chores, remember?”

“You divided the chores and expected me to do what you said,” Draco corrected, his eyes turning slate grey. “I don’t like gardening. I hate it, in fact. And when I offered to ask Mother to borrow her landscaping elf, you said--”

Harry help up a hand. “Let’s not fight, please? I’m tired, it’s been a long day.”

“Fine,” snapped Draco, tossing aside his book and sanding up. “I’ll leave you alone to enjoy your evening, then, shall I?”

As Draco started to walk past him, Harry grabbed his arm. “Wait.”

Eyes narrowed, Draco glared at Harry. “Why?”

Pulling him close, Harry exhaled when he felt Draco relax against his body. “I’m sorry. You probably had an awful day, too.”

After a moment’s hesitation, Draco rested his forehead on Harry’s shoulder. “Moderately so, yes. There was an accident at the Holyhead Harpies match and I ended up having to stay late to help patch up some spectators.” He sighed. “And I did remember the shrubs, but it was raining when I got home and I wasn’t in the mood to get soaked by April showers.”

Harry hugged him. “I don’t blame you.”

Draco hummed. “Bloody Quidditch idiots. Remind me why I decided to become a Healer?”

“Because you love helping people,” said Harry.

Draco snorted. “It could have been for the publicity.”

Harry laughed. “There are easier ways to have the public like you, so no, I’m going to have to stick with my original answer.”

“Hm.” Draco kissed Harry’s neck. “Just be sure not to tell anyone and ruin my image, all right?”

Grinning, Harry drew back, looking Draco in the face. “I’ll consider it if you make it worth my while.”

It was Draco’s turn to chuckle. “I married you, didn’t I?”

Harry nodded, kissing his nose. “So you did. Right, so you’re exhausted, I’m exhausted, let’s order some take away, cuddle on the sofa, and watch the golden sunset.”

“Sounds heavenly, but I think you’ve forgotten what day it is.”

“What day-- Oh shit.” Harry groaned. “Can’t we just...not go?”

“Believe me,” Draco murmured, pulling away. “If I could get away with not going to Blaise’s birthday party, I wouldn’t, but he’d never forgive me.” Harry opened his mouth, but Draco talked right over him. “And yes, you have to go, too. I mean if I’m going to be subjected to Blaise nattering on about his latest conquest then you are, too.”

“Fine, fine.” Harry sighed. “Just let me change out of my uniform.”

Draco raised an eyebrow. “Do you have to change?” He smirked, trailing a finger over Harry’s cheek. “You’re pretty hot in that thing.”

“Hey, I offered to stay home--”

“I know, I know.” Draco clasped Harry’s hand. “Come on, I’ll help you get dressed. It’s the least I can do.”

Harry grinned. Distracting Draco while they were both practically naked would be child’s play. The evening was looking up.

~

“I can’t believe you made me come to this thing,” Harry muttered as Draco dragged him into the club. “We could have been shagging--”

“Draco!” Pansy Parkinson, dressed in one of the shortest dresses Harry had ever seen, sauntered towards them. She looked Harry up and down. “And you brought Potter. Marvellous.”

Harry took a deep breath, but before he could respond, Draco spoke up. “Yes, Pansy, I brought Harry. He’s my husband, remember?”

Pansy sighed. “Right. How could I forget?” She tilted her head towards the main room. “Blaise is through there.”

Still clasping Harry’s hand, Draco pulled him along. “We don’t have to stay that long,” he whispered as they made their way to Blaise’s table. “Let’s at least stay long enough to have a drink and see the cake.”

“Cake?” Harry frowned. “What’s so special about a cake--?”

“Draco!” Blaise was already quite drunk, and he threw his arms around Draco in welcome. “And Potter!” Hiccuping, Blaise hugged Harry, too. “You smell good.”

“Er, thanks.”

“Stop fondling my man, Blaise,” said Draco. “Get your own.”

Blaise grinned, squeezing Harry until his breath hitched. “Draco nev’r did like to share h’s toys.”

Harry quickly extricated himself from Blaise’s arms. “Yes, he can be a bit....possessive.” And I like it. “Happy birthday, Zabini.”

“Thanks! ’S been brilliant s’far,” enthused Blaise, throwing up his arms. “And it’s ’bout t’get better. You’re just’n time f’cake.”

Harry nodded, a bit confused about the cake obsession. “Right, well, I’ll just wait, then.”

“Here it is!” Parkinson declared, walking in with a giant cake on a stand floating behind her. “The perfect gift for Blaise.”

Everyone gathered around and Harry quickly noted that just about everyone was Slytherin or Ravenclaw. “I’ll get you home soon,” Draco leaned in and whispered, evidently noticing Harry’s discomfort. “Just relax.”

After an off-key rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’, Blaise was led over to a chair that had been Transfigured into a throne. The cake was positioned in front of him and everyone began catcalling loudly.

Harry turned to Draco. “That is a huge cake. I guess Slytherins have big appetites?”

Draco stared at him for a moment before laughing softly. “In more ways than one. You’ll see.”

Harry started to ask what he meant but before he could, the cake started moving and someone burst out of the top of the cake.

“Whoo hoo!” screamed Parkinson. “Let the games begin!”

Harry, mouth open, watched as an almost naked man stepped out of the cake and slunk towards Blaise, a predatory look on his face. “Hello, birthday boy,” the man purred, straddling Blaise’s lap. “Have you been naughty or nice?”

Everyone laughed, and as Blaise’s friends all shouted obscenities, Harry shook his head. “I do not understand you people.”

Draco raised an eyebrow. “Trust me, I feel the same way when we visit your friends. One word: SPEW.”

Harry blushed. “Yeah, all right.” He’d dragged Draco to Hermione’s last birthday party, which had turned into a SPEW rally. Draco had been a remarkably good sport about it. Well, after I gave him several blow jobs.

The dancer was gyrating in Blaise’s lap and Blaise was doing his best to touch as much of the man’s flesh as he could. Harry sighed. “Now can we go?”

Draco chuckled. “One drink.” Grabbing two glasses of something pink and frothy, he handed one to Harry. “Have that while I talk to some people.”

Nodding, Harry sipped his drink, doing his best not to meet anyone’s eyes. Everyone was clearly three sheets to the wind, and Harry knew it was a recipe for disaster to engage in any conversation.

“Potter’s next!” shouted Blaise when the music, and the dancer, paused. “C’mon, Pott’r! Livealittle!”

Harry tried to back away, but Blaise proved remarkably strong, and within moments had manoeuvred Harry into his ‘throne’. The dancer straddled his lap, shaking his hips. “What’s your name, luv?” the man purred, licking his lips lasciviously. “And that’s some great Harry Potter makeup you’ve done.” He winked. “I can give you a special hero’s dance later. In private.”

Opening his mouth to refuse, Harry blinked as the dancer flew backwards, landing on his rear end. Looking up, he saw Draco, wand drawn, eyes blazing. “We’re leaving.”

Putting down his drink, Harry stood. “Fine with me.” Turning to Blaise, who had a bit of a grey tinge to his skin, he said, “Goodnight.”

Without waiting for Blaise to reply, Draco grabbed Harry’s arm and within moments they were landing in front of their own cottage, Harry stumbling. Draco caught him, as always. “Wasn’t that a bit rude?” teased Harry once he’d regained his footing.

Draco snorted. “It was that or injure that dancer, and since I’d probably have had to put him back together, I decided it was better this way.”

Laughing, Harry tugged him closer. “Wise decision,” he murmured, covering Draco’s mouth with his. When they pulled apart, they were both panting, and Draco’s eyes blazed with heat. “You deserve a reward.”

“Well naturally I-- Oi!” Draco jumped, spinning to glare at the overgrown shrub lining the path. “That plant just groped me!”

Harry bit his tongue. Hard. “Maybe we can do the gardening together tomorrow,” he soothed, pulling Draco up the path and into the house.

Draco huffed. “Unless I incinerate it first!”

“Let’s should try some basic gardening first, all right?”

“Fine.” Draco dragged Harry inside. “Now come here, you owe me a shag to help me get over the trauma.”

Laughing, Harry followed him inside. “Of course, dear. Of course.”

~