alisanne

Title: On the Benefits of a Good Joke
Author:

alisanne
Pairing/Characters: Severus Snape/Harry Potter, assorted others.
Word Count: 100 x 7
Rating: PG
Challenge: Written for

snape100/

snape100's prompt #631: Snape in Diagon Alley - Gambol and Japes.
Warning(s): None
Beta(s):

sevfan and

emynn.
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

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On the Benefits of a Good Joke

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Severus stood outside the shop, eyes wide. Kids were darting in and out giggling, and there was some sort of toy display inside, one he couldn't quite see because the door kept closing before he could get a good look.

“Sev?” His mum hurried up. “No lollygagging, especially not around Gambol and Japes.”

Severus tore his gaze away. “But, Mum—”

Eileen grabbed his hand. “You listen to me,” she hissed. “We don’t have money to waste on such things. Now come, we need school supplies.”

Bowing his head, Severus went, but not without sneaking a look back at the shop.

~

“Head’s up, Snivellus!”

Severus’ head snapped up in time to see Potter pointing something at him, and a moment later he was on the ground, covered in slippery stuff.

Everyone was laughing, even Lily, who had come out of the library to see what the commotion was about.

“The Marauders strike again!” crowed Black, high-fiving Potter.

“Technically, it’s Gambol and Japes strike again,” interjected Lupin.

Severus glared at them. “You arseholes,” he shouted.

“It was just a joke, Sev,” Lily whispered, leaning down to help him up.

Severus huffed. It wasn’t, it was war, but he wasn’t telling her that.

~

“Another Gambol and Japes product.” Tossing the latest confiscated joke item into a drawer, Severus sneered. “I’d love to give them a piece of my mind.”

Minerva smiled. “Alas, that wouldn’t work. Trust me, I’ve tried.”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “Do tell.”

“I was in Diagon and decided to see what the fuss was about.”

“And?”

“I mentioned to the shopkeeper that perhaps their products needed an off switch or something.” Minerva scowled. “He actually laughed.”

“What did you say to him?”

Minerva smirked. “Nothing. I spent the following week chasing rats into their shop.”

Severus never laughed so hard.

~

“It’s not Gambol and Japes’?” Severus inspected the toy. “Perhaps there’s a new joke shop in Diagon.”

Argus bobbed his head, eyes wide with trepidation. “Maybe, Professor.”

Severus huffed. “Not one but two? Merlin help us.”

Filch stroked Mrs Norris’ fur with a shaking hand. “I’ve been keeping my eye out for more of ’em, sir.”

“Keep me informed.” Severus frowned. “Who did you confiscate this one from?”

“I didn’t, Professor, I found it.”

Severus froze. “Where?”

“Outside the Gryffindor dorms—”

The explosion, covering both of them with bright pink sparkles, clearly surprised Argus. But not Severus. “Weasleys,” he growled.

~

When Severus became headmaster, joke products disappeared. He almost missed them. They’d indicated a spark of resistance, that the circumstances in which they all found themselves hadn’t completely sapped everyone’s spirits.

Daily he waited for word of a prank, yet only receiving increasingly irate complaints from Poppy about students stunned senseless by Cruciatus Curses.

It happened the day Longbottom went missing. “…it billowed black smoke! Once it cleared, they was gone.” Alecto looked incensed. “The Weasley girl—”

Severus sniffed. “An old Gambol and Japes product,” he lied. “It’s nothing.”

But afterwards, he smiled. They still fought. All would be well.

~

He shouldn’t have come. Yet there he was, in the Burrow. “I’ll get drinks,” Harry said, patting Severus’ arm before leaving him.

“Harry changes everything he touches, doesn't he?” George Weasley plopped down beside Severus.

Severus coughed. He still wasn’t sure what was happening between himself and Harry. Besides sex. He hummed. “Quite.”

“I’ve a proposition.” George leaned in. “Gambol and Japes is seeing a resurgence in business. And with Fred gone—” He paused. “Anyway, you’re a dab hand with potions. Ever consider going into the joke business?”

Slowly, Severus smiled. “As a boy,” he admitted. “What are you proposing?”

~

“…you’re now producing the very products you loathed when you were a professor here!” Minerva glared.

Severus smirked. “Yes. Ironic.”

“Ironic!” Minerva looked ready to spit nails. “That’s your response? Merlin, Severus, Gambol and Japes was bad enough, but Weasley and Snape is worse—”

“I’ll have a word with George,” Severus lied. “Now, about our request—”

Minerva’s expression immediately softened. “Right. The wedding. Of course you and Harry can get married here at Hogwarts.”

Severus smiled. “Excellent.” And as he left, he reflected that, while life hadn’t turned out the way he’d thought, it’d ended up better than he’d hoped.

~