alisanne: (Absolute Slytherin)
[personal profile] alisanne
Title: Slytherin Wisdom
Author: [personal profile] alisanne
Character(s)/Pairing(s): James Sirius Potter/Scorpius Malfoy (implied), Albus Severus Potter, Lily Luna Potter, Harry Potter/Severus Snape (implied).
Challenge: Written for [livejournal.com profile] hp_nextgen100/[insanejournal.com profile] hp_nextgen100/[community profile] hp_nextgen100's prompt # 128: Wisdom.
Rating: PG
Length: 100 x 5
Warnings: Plotting children, sly Slytherins.
Beta(s): [personal profile] sevfan and emynn.
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.


~

Slytherin Wisdom

~

“Mum’s gift’s sorted,” said Lily, making a note on the parchment. “That just leaves—”

“Dad,” Albus groaned. “He’s always the hardest.”

“Why’s this always so difficult?” Lily moaned.

“Because Dad’s the most popular wizard in the world, and he already has everything,” said James.

Albus smiled. “Not everything.”

James’ eyes narrowed. “No.”

“You don’t even know what I’m going to suggest!” Albus protested.

“Whatever it is, it’ll go wrong. No.”

Albus rolled his eyes. “There’s one thing Dad doesn’t have.”

“Okay,” said Lily.

“Wisdom dictates we not do whatever Al suggests,” said James.

Lily shrugged. “Desperate times. Go on, Al.”

~

Albus smirked. “Dad’s been alone years—”

“Oh no,” said James. “Absolutely not.”

“You want to set Dad up?” Lily pursed her lips. “That could work, the question is, with whom?”

“No, no—” James was muttering.

“James!” Lily snapped. “We need ideas right now, not negativity.”

“Dad hates being set up! That big fight he had with Aunt Hermione was because she tried to set him up with that Unspeakable, Sarah something.”

“Sarah?” Albus sniffed. “No wonder.”

Both Lily and James stared at him. “What are you saying?” asked Lily.

“Yes,” sneered James. “What’s your Slytherin wisdom?”

Albus snorted. “Dad’s gay.”

~

“B-but…Mum,” stammered James.

Albus rolled his eyes. “He was in the closet.” He shrugged. “Or he’s bi, pick one. Although I have to tell you, my Slytherin wisdom tells me he prefers blokes.”

“How…? You—” James glared at him. “You’re making that up.”

“Nope.” Albus grinned. “Haven’t you ever seen him check out blokes’ arses when we attend Quidditch games?”

“That’s different,” cried James. “Everyone does that.”

“I don’t,” said Albus.

Lily smiled. “Al has a point.” She winked at James. “And maybe you’re bi, too, James.”

“Anyway, back to Dad,” said Albus, ignoring James’ sputtering. “What’s his type?”

~

“Redheads?” suggested Lily. “Mum’s a redhead.”

“I vote we avoid people who look like Mum,” said Albus.

“Fair. What do you think, James?”

James huffed. “That this idea’s terrible.”

Albus smirked. “We await your wisdom on what to get Dad instead.”

James sighed. “I don’t think he likes blonds,” he finally muttered.

“Agreed,” said Albus. “After all, he never looks at Scorpius when he visits.” He smirked. “Unlike you, Jamie.”

“Shut it!” James hissed.

Lily rolled her eyes. “Can we please focus on Dad? So what brunets do we know who’d work?”

Slowly, Albus smiled.

“Merlin help us,” muttered James.

~

“Our plan worked!” whispered Lily as she and Albus looked on.

Albus grinned. “And always the tone of surprise.”

Lily chuckled. “Brilliant idea inviting Scorpius to dinner, too.”

“Right? I think we outdid ourselves with gifts this year, don’t you?”

They bumped fists, Albus’ smirk widening when James glared suspiciously at them.

“Let’s give it time before we let James know Scorpius was our gift to him,” murmured Lily.

“The wisdom of ages,” breathed Albus. “Ditto for Dad.”

Lily watched as Severus Snape leaned in to whisper something that made their father smile. “Oh, I think Dad’s fine with it.”

~

Date: 2017-10-17 09:07 pm (UTC)
capitu: (Default)
From: [personal profile] capitu
Oh my god! Albus and Lily are perfectly devious and I adore them! This was so funny!

“Haven’t you ever seen him check out blokes’ arses when we attend Quidditch games?”

“That’s different,” cried James. “Everyone does that.”

“I don’t,” said Albus.


and this: “Redheads?” suggested Lily. “Mum’s a redhead.”

“I vote we avoid people who look like Mum,” said Albus.


Had me laughing out loud. Most awesome. I love these two plotting. :D

Date: 2017-10-18 01:46 am (UTC)
nuclearpolymer: (Default)
From: [personal profile] nuclearpolymer
These were great lines :)

Date: 2017-10-26 04:24 am (UTC)
lilyseyes: (Default)
From: [personal profile] lilyseyes
I think Albus' Slytherin wisdom is right on point! :)

Date: 2017-10-18 03:21 pm (UTC)
amorettea: (Snape clap)
From: [personal profile] amorettea
Sneaky children are sneaky. Delightful.

Date: 2017-10-18 09:57 pm (UTC)
lara_quinn: Naked Lily (Default)
From: [personal profile] lara_quinn
Brilliant gift for Harry. And for James too. :)

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alisanne: (Default)
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